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Living Life Should Not Be A Struggle

If You Are Struggling With Living Day-To-Day Life Then You Are Doing Something Wrong

This is such a bold yet simple statement. It is absolutely true. If you are currently living this life and are struggling then you are doing something wrong. It’s accusatory, I know, but you just may not know any better.

Existing should not be a struggle and actually cannot be a struggle because you will continue to exist whether you struggle or not (unless you are being run over by a train or something). There are those who are imprisoned, even falsely, who have completely surrendered to their 8′ x 8′ cell… with a roommate who probably is lactose intolerant. They are at peace and have accepted their circumstance.

Struggle – A Fiction Of The Mind

Struggle is something we create. And you might be thinking that it’s something others create for you. Your boss might have it out for you, you may be stuck with a really shitty significant other or you might be poor as fuck. But the struggling aspect is all on you. There are college kids living on $1,000/mo and they’re smiling and having fun.

As clinicians we know this better than anyone. A patient with morbid obesity, diabetes, HTN, and COPD pulling an oxygen tank might be super jovial, happy, content and … surrendered. Another patient with bone-on-bone knee arthritis walks around like a penguin but is totally accepting of the situation… surrendered to the pain and the condition.

It Doesn’t Matter What the Situation Is… It’s Your Reaction To It, How You Label It

“My work is hard” – either leave it, talk to your management to change it or … accept it for what it is.  Don’t judge it or wish it was different or label it. It is what it is. But how you feel towards it is completely in your power and that’s a fact. Doesn’t mean that you can’t take active steps towards changing it but you need to accept it first otherwise you will never, ever win that battle.

“I can’t stand my husband/wife, they are making my life miserable” – you can leave the relationship or change it with a couples counselor or stay in it and accept it for what it is. Doesn’t mean you need to let someone beat on you or belittle you. That’s not surrendering, that’s giving up. Surrendering is accepting the situation for what it is while you are working towards improving the situation. And if you gonna reply and say “no it’s not that easy, I have kids!”… well I’m sure you know the answer already.

“I’m so stressed all the time, I can’t handle this life” – stop doing whatever is stressing you out. If your job and your significant other and your parents are causing you stress to the point of your breaking down then leave them if that’s what you need to do. Move to another city, country and start a new life (rarely the solution but…). Or change the things that are causing you stress (not enough money then work more… not enough free time then work less… not enough social support then start making friends). Stress is the response to nonacceptance. If we wish that a situation was different from what it is then our body/mind will internally react to this and create stress as a response.

That happiness, or joy, or love or whatever you want to call — that blissful state of zero inner resistance — is immediately available to everyone… right now and not in the future after years of meditation. Some days I wake up and I find myself internally or externally battling everything and I realize that I don’t have to… and I suddenly feel like a ton of weight is taken off my shoulders. I inadvertently smile and realize how irrelevant most of the things are that I worry about.

Start small. If it’s hot then accept the heat, don’t fight it and label it and make it an enemy. Once you come to terms with it, get up and move to a cooler place or turn the fucking A/C on. When I bike and I’m freezing down to my spine I find the best thing is to just accept it and suddenly it no longer is even an issue anymore. I could stop if I wanted to, I could get a cab, I could take the train, whatever.

Boredom, Misery And Dissatisfaction

There a multi-millionaires who are stressed over money, unhappy with their life and miserable. There are those who are filthy rich and live on the most beautiful islands in the world and are dissatisfied with their life. There are those who are young, pretty and smart with plenty of resources but are bored.

Your life isn’t the problem. More money won’t solve the issue. More education won’t make you happy. A better partner won’t satisfy you or complete you. A better place to live won’t get you out of your miserable state of mind. Simply put, it’s how you perceive the moment, how you label it and whether you battle it or accept it.

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