Why women need to achieve financial independence early
Who is this man talking about financial independence for women?! That’s right, it’s Dr. Mo talking about how important it is for women to achieve financial independence when they have the opportunity to do so, which is early on in their lives before other life events set in.
In this post, I will be talking about the controversial and shocking truth that we live in a country that’s more sexist than most islamic countries. Where women are passed up for opportunities, oppressed openly, given lower wages than their penis-sporting counterparts, discriminated against because they get maternity leave, feared for that potential sexual harassment complaint and depicted as being helpless by the media.
Women have fewer opportunities than men
Where do I start… we do not live in a free society, I hope that’s obvious to many. We happen to live in a country that allows more freedom than many others but 98% of us don’t take advantage of that opportunity – therefore, we don’t live in a free society.
Because most roles in leadership are held by men, women have to overcome certain obstacles before being considered for the job. A man can get away with a whole range of personalities and can fall under a massive bell curve in terms of lifestyles, beliefs, tone of voice, appearance, attitude, dress code and work history.
A woman, on the other hand, has to have every t crossed and every i dotted. Can’t appear ‘sexual’ but can’t appear ‘bitchy’. She can’t appear ‘bossy’ nor excessively ‘nurturing’. Ever heard those terms used for a dude?
Women then have to face the decisions of family versus career. Why? Because when I sit at a coffee shop and the child is running around, I rarely see pops getting up and running after the little fucker. It’s usually mom. And when I ask dad why he brought his kiddo in, it’s: “I dunno, his mother said he’s been sick.”
Should a woman assume the mother role, own that shit and raise those kids, she may one day find herself on her ass because of the marriage falling apart. It doesn’t matter what the reason is, divorce happens, it’s the fact of life.
Have you tried being out of the workforce? That shit mutates so quickly, it’s like walking into a whole new dimension. As a man, I can walk into a new job even if I’ve been out of the game for a while, put on a macho attitude, compensate for my inadequacy and everyone will bow down.
Joint finances
Oh fuck no! I’m completely against having joint finances, at least not 100% joint. Join your basic checking account, but as a woman, you should always have your own finances.
I don’t think the law and society treats a traditional marriage (man and woman) the same. But the law will view your finances the same if it’s a joint holding.
As a man with a high income (well, not now, but before, when I wasn’t a lush), I think I unfairly become liable for child support and alimony because statistically I am likely to earn a higher income and the woman is more likely to take on the majority of the childcare.
The woman inside me believes that if I give my 100% to the ‘marriage’ I won’t have shit to stand on should things fall apart. So no, it would be fine to have a joint account for common expenses but a man should have his own savings and a woman her own.
Women don’t pursue financial education as much as men
The readership on most financial websites are men. I don’t care why that’s true but it’s true. Granted, the majority of the financial websites are as useful as a nail in a tire but there are the occasional helpful websites as well.
Why am I writing this stuff if my readership mostly has an XY chromosome? Because you guys have sisters, mothers, aunts, girlfriends, booty calls, neighborhood strippers and other females in your life. You need to disseminate this information to them.
The reason I think it’s important for women to gain financial independence early is because they don’t seek financial education as much as men. There are many reasons for this and you can read plenty of fantastic topics on this subject. But without financial education, it’s hard to make sound financial decisions.
Relax, I’m not saying women are dumber financially. But should shit hit the fan, more men will have access to financial information streams than women.
If you’re single female doctor
As my readers like to point out, ‘life is easier when you’re single’. Okay, let’s go with that for a moment. Let’s talk about how a single female doctor can achieve financial independence.
That’s it. Nothing new. The same shit that every other personal finance blogger out there dishes out. It’s a scale, on one side there is spending and on the other saving. The more you save means that the less you’re spending.
If you’re A married female doctor
The simple advice here is that you should share the household income the way you share the household chores. If you generally sit on your ass and don’t contribute in any way to the household then you shouldn’t get any part of the household income.
But as a married female physician you may take some time off to raise kids or for any other reason. Should your work experience stop there? Should you stop earning money? After all, it’s culturally more acceptable for a man to support a woman.
“But as a woman, I love my partner, I love him/her and know that we would never break up!” If that’s the case then the 50%+ of Americans who ended up divorced all knew ahead of time that it was gonna happen.
The reality is that when a relationship starts falling apart there are a ton of reasons, many out of our control. A depressed partner will act out in mean ways when in reality they are just masking their own pain. Midlife crisis surface or the death of someone close sends a person spiraling out of control.
Why financial independence?
Why should you try to become financially independent? Because unlike our society, the stock market doesn’t give a fuck if you got ovaries or testicles or neither or both.
Your equity portfolio won’t try to ask you out on a date after you invest in it.
Your bond portfolio won’t finish your sentences for you, constantly interrupt you or compliment you on your hair after you invest $250k in it.
If you find yourself in a bad situation at work, whether morally toxic or emotionally demoralizing, you won’t have to suffer in silence. You can turn to your portfolio to support you until you find the kind of job that’s right for you.
If you suddenly realize that it’s not okay for your partner to hit you, talk down to you, control you, isolate you or manipulate you, then you can turn to your portfolio to find a safe place to live. Because let me tell you, you never, ever want to rely to a ‘battered women’s shelter’. That’s like relying on cops to come get you out of a hairy situation in Compton – it probably won’t happen.
How women are financially discriminated against
In this last section I want to touch up on a few more arguments as to why women should aim to achieve financial independence early. The main reason being that women are financially discriminated against.
Agism. Not only is sexism a big problem but so is agism. When a woman advances in age, she now will have 2 strikes against her. No, this isn’t depressing, it’s eye-opening. Society as a whole may be like this, but there are wonderful, inspiring and enlightened pockets of society that don’t feel or behave that way.
Society as a whole may be like this, but there are wonderful, inspiring and enlightened pockets of society that don’t feel or behave that way. The point is to protect us against risk and not assume that a bad outcome is inevitable.
Autoimmune diseases. Women are more likely to have autoimmune diseases than men. That means more medical costs, more missed time from work, more emotional drama to deal with.
Women live longer. I realize that society looks upon longevity of life as a blessing – I have no fucking idea why. Life’s pleasure lies in quality and no quantity.
Men stick together. Yea, if this wasn’t already apparent to you, men tend to stick together. How likely is it that a man who overhears another man beating his female partner will call the cops?
And who do you think will statistically arrive should the cops be called, a male or female cop? And do you think the average male who went into law enforcement is an enlightened male, aware of all of the society’s shortcomings when it comes to dealing with those who have been marginalized for centuries?
Victim of crime. I’ve been robbed at knife point and gun point. No big deal, it was over before I could even know what happened. I’ve gotten my ass kicked and I’ve been bullied. I’ve been yelled at by my supervisors both as an attending and as a resident.
But I have never felt completely out of control. As a male, I have only felt that my life was in danger, never my dignity and never my personality or individuality. When Dr. B chewed me out as my chief, I could have punched him in the face or nuts.
The point is that whether legitimate or not, men are less likely to feel helpless or victimized when it comes to crime. We tend to have fewer crimes perpetrated against us and we tend to have more recourse.
As a guy, are you worried that the cops who arrest you are gonna feel up your man-boobs or make sexual remarks towards you? How comfortable would you be as a man in the back of a cruiser with 2 dude cops? What if you were a woman?
Appearance. What does the traditional successful man look like? Balding, big fat belly and old as fuck. What does the successful woman look like? Likely older, slender, conservatively attractive and distinguished.
The point is that women have to put in exponentially more effort to maintain the appearance of success. It costs more time and money to achieve that.
Final word about the woman-man thing
I know this is a sensitive topic for many. Before you have an electronic meltdown and blow your top, take a deep breath, have a glass of wine and realize that I don’t care if you’re a man or a woman.
Younger doctors have certain challenges that older ones don’t. Men have certain challenges that women don’t.
I am not trying to victimize women. I have a slight distaste for how modern feminism has victimized women in this country and I don’t want to feed into that shit.
The misogynistic men who are pointed to by our societies left the womb of a woman and were raised most likely by women and men whether parents or extended family members.
I feel just as bad for women and their battles as I feel for men. It’s economically easier being a man but it’s not easy being a man. We are raised by men/women to suppress our feelings, not cry, to be macho, to fight, to dislike women, to hate emotional fragility and to compete against anything and everything at all costs – as long as it’s legal.
2 replies on “Financial Independence for Women”
Are you sure you weren’t a woman in your previous life? You know exactly the issues educated women face in the job market, a reality that is rarely brought to light.
It’s brought to light plenty. It’s just that the majority of people living in modern societies are too busy working for an income and have too little time to look up, take a deep breath and see what else is around them.
One of the luxuries of being retired is that I can read more than just my daily mail of bills and tax statements.