It’s Easy To Feel Overwhelmed, Spreading Oneself Too Thin Between Friends And Commitments
In the era of Facebook, people have gotten accustomed to having a massive circle of friends, sometimes too big. Combine the number of friends you have with the number of family members and it can suddenly seem overwhelming to satisfy the whole lot. Controlling your personal distractions is important in order to feel a sense of accomplishment, avoid burnout, feel relaxed and have healthy relationships.
If most of your friends and family share the same hobbies, have the same lifestyle and share your personal viewpoints then it can be easier to have a larger group of friends, you basically throw everyone in the mix.
Got To Say No At Times
The reason I am writing about this is because it plays into efficiency and time management. If you are the warm, friendly sort then everyone and their momma might be taxing your time. You may not want to say no, feeling bad doing so, which sets you up for feeling too distracted, not adequately rested and feeling exhausted emotionally.
I have actually shifted my initial responses to no, with the caveat of getting back to the person if something opens up. I also am okay with saying no and letting them know that if my plans change I will let them know last-minute.
People Don’t Like Hearing “Last Minute”
It’s natural, we don’t like feeling like we aren’t important. Being blown off by a friend is a bit hurtful to our egos, but we don’t know what their workload is really like.
I have told good friends before that I can’t say yes right now, but if something changes I’ll let the know last-minute. Their reply often is that they like to plan ahead, they don’t like doing things last-minute.
But I’m not that way. I love doing things last-minute, based on my mood and what I’m craving to do. It might come across selfish but it’s how I am. I don’t judge the planner any more than I judge the 11th-hour person.
I think it’s important to recognize that there are times in your life when you truly have too much on your plate, your allotted time which you can commit to others may not be enough. If they are willing to be flexible and congregate with you last-minute then great, if not…
Our Own Perception Of Coming Across Rude
When we say no to a suggested get-together, we often hang ourselves before the other person has had a chance to reply. This sort of sets the tone, whatever the person says, we assume they aren’t okay with it and that we hurt them. Don’t be so hard on yourself.
It’s important to respect the priorities I set for myself, respecting the alone-time I need and then saying no without assuming how the other person will feel. Giving in a little may help, but I often don’t want to commit to anything in the near future if my plate is full.
It Is Always A Give & Take
Just like I can’t always say yes, I can’t always say no. For true friendships to endure, we have to sacrifice certain things at times. It’s perhaps even more so important for family.
As I mentioned, I usually say no round 1, then I try to see if I can make an alternative suggestion. If so, great. If not then I’ll wait until my friend suggests another time, keeping track of how many times I’ve weaseled out of meeting up. I basically have a good sense now when I finally have to say yes.
If You’re An Introvert…
If you are left-handed, you know that people just don’t get you. Your smear your writing, you got the weirdest-looking contortion going on with your wrist when writing, you need to sit to the left of right-handed persons during a meal and your racquet game is a head-scratching mess.
I’m nearly 40, I know I’m an introvert. I always get labeled as very social but I know how I am. I need my alone-time after any get-togethers. I think it’s even tough for my partner to really understand me.
I need to prepare for big groups of people, I get anxiety before meeting with damn near anyone and I need several hours of just me-time before being able to recharge for another social.