Book review for Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi

I listed to this book on Audible, if you don’t have Audible yet, I highly recommend it. At $15/month it’s a steal and the selection is the best I’ve seen. Easy to cancel anytime – but I don’t think you will.

Verdict: 6-hour listen at 2x speed through Audible. Some really good tidbits once you get past the greasy, sleazy overall tone.

I came across this book many times in the past, just never had a reason to pick it up – frankly, I figured it was going to be a bit sleazy.

Remember in high school, the person who was friends with everyone, sweet talked people and just seemed a bit too sleazy and two-faced? Well, I hate to say it but that’s the sense I get from the tone of this book.

However, that said, there are some really important skills and points in this book, it’s definitely worth listening to.

I listen to most of my audio at 2-2.5x speed when I’m walking. If I’m exercising or biking a new path, I take it down to 1.5x speed since those tasks require a bit more concentration. This way I can consume a book like this, normally 13 hours, in half the time.

What I learned

Networking isn’t about forced interactions, it’s about figuring out how to create the most authentic connections with others. It’s about thinking what you can do for them and not the other way around.

Offering help to someone superficially, even if well-intentioned, is not useful. Instead, when a person needs help, it’s better for me to take the next step and figure out exactly what they need and just do it.

It could be something as simple as putting them in touch with another person, providing them a resource or showing up with a moving van.

I also learned that Keith apparently knows a lot of important people (most of whom I’ve never heard of) and has been really successful because of it. He likes touching people on the elbow –

He likes touching people on the elbow – uhm, thanks, Keith, please don’t touch my elbow if we ever meet. Though you may gently place your hand on my lower waste, in a soothing yet slightly provocative fashion.

My action steps

It’s important to reach out to those we know. Even if we are in different cities and can’t see them in person, a text or email can let them know that we’re around and that a connection is still there.

Putting effort into our wider network takes work but is worth it to keep these friendships.

I will put more time into reaching out to friends in order to stay in touch.

I will also try to make my contacts with new people deeper, not the superficial hello’s and how-are-you’s, but trying to get to know them more by asking meaningful questions.

Who is this book perfect for

If you are a social retard and have no fucking idea how to connect with people, if you are so damn awkward that dogs even avoid you and if you don’t have a single friend you can call for a favor, drop everything you’re doing and read this book.

This is a great book to start out with but it’s only the beginning. It will help you at least make a connection but in order to make the connection deeper, your intention has to be well-placed.

Keith talked about the intention portion a bit, but every example he used, like the time he stood in a strategic spot to run into some hot-shot, was pretty much out my own book of picking up on dames in a club! Yea, playa!